I have this irrational fear
That you’ll leave me.
Everyone does eventually,
So it wouldn’t be too surprising.
I also have this terrifying fear of spiders.
With their eight legs and beady eyes.
And how they scurry away from me.
But if you don’t leave me,
Then I have another fear
You will be on your way to work,
And I’ll never see you smile again.
Then there’s this thing about semis.
Yeah, the trucks,
You know they terrify me.
If that doesn’t happen,
What if my anger gets the best of me,
And you never look at me the same?
I fear you’ll resent me.
I’m a tad terrified of clowns.
Their smiles are too fake,
And they have way too much red.
Or what if I’m actually poisonous,
And I begin to fill your heart with hatred
That was never there before.
I’m afraid to ruin your kindness.
And demons are the worst,
Especially those that take forms
In innocent porcelain dolls.
Or what about the fear
Of our love ceasing to exist.
Everything we built up together,
Suddenly crumbling to the ground.
And I’m still afraid of the dark,
And things that go bump in the night.
Yes, even at the age of twenty-one.